I'm so pleased that a few days of hard work, music and seeing and speaking with people I haven't seen for a while have helped bring things back to centre.
I know I need to make myself do things that are fun, or worthwhile, or challenging or interesting to get myself back even if I don't much feel like it. By the time I've gone through the motions, I forget that I wasn't ok in the first place.
How I am rises and falls, and like everyone else, it will always be like this. Some times the troughs are deeper, and crests higher than others but they will continue to come and go no matter what. I am glad of this. Glad of both.
A horrid couple of days have been left in the past by allowing myself, making myself, embrace some things that I was ready not to do. I'm looking back at a weekend of both hilarity and beauty, and some real movement at work. I am grateful for the people in my life who bring these moments, and who care enough to ask how I am even if they know the answer might not be 'Fine', and to laugh with me if it is.
Unfortunately, as Depression seeps in, the first thing we do is drop the things that make us feel good. We avoid contact with people who make us feel better about ourselves; we stop engaging in the activities (like playing music) that make us feel good; we stop going out.
ReplyDeleteI've come to understand Depression is not unlike computer viruses where the first thing they do is disable your anti-virus programme.
Evil beast all round. At least these days I can recognise it better, and do stuff to bring myself back. Sometimes much harder than others!
ReplyDeleteWith that in mind, i'm off to the gym!
I hope your own cloud is lifting a little, your honesty and thoughtfulness on a tough subject is appreciated. You could revolutionise the human race with the right software!