My last post has resulted in a flurry of commentary here and elsewhere, and an identification with the isolation that comes with watching your friends settle and move into family lives, when what you know is the same old routine that has existed for too long but with fewer people available to help fill the gaps as child rearing or marital lives take over.
All I know is that my happiness can only come from me, no one else is going to 'fix' that. It is my responsibility. However, it's sometimes like wading through mud and a friendly face at the end of the day would go a long way to relieving that.
As I lurch from one failed dating attempt to another, I'm glad I'm still trying despite the frustration and sadness that sometimes rears its head in posts like my last. I also know that the things in life worth having are worth fighting for, working hard for, taking risks for....even if they don't work out.
Sometimes, I also know I need to stop trying. Stand still and look after me. The rest will come.
Living alone is a huge privilege but it can also be hard going. I know I have good friends, and a family who care, but sometimes 'lonely' happens anyway, and can swiftly morph into 'unloved' and consequently 'unloveable'. A quick google search produced this on page 1 of 'lonely'. Some honest words on a subject few people ever discuss.Emily White: Lonely
An interesting link. It sounds like a similar thing to Depression, or any other chronic condition - something that becomes overwhelming and life controling, yet is hidden from others who don't understand.
ReplyDeleteIndeed. It's a hrd thing to escape rom, and becomes harder the longer it continues. The effort of getting out and meeting new folk when all is not shiny and happy can be a slog. Few of us ever say the words and admit we need more people than we have: that we are, in fact, lonely. It's a word that society burdens with shame and failure (a bit like depression) rather than acknowleging that sometimes that's just the way it is.
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