I have to thank my fellow blogger over at http://www.upliftantidote.co.uk/wordpress/ for posting Charles C Finn's poem 'Please Hear What I Am Not Saying'
It's not the best crafted piece of poetry the world has ever seen, but is spoke very strongly to me. It describes so well the mask I wear every day and don't have words for. In so many ways this blog is the place where I attempt to speak out of the real, frightened me. Counselling has taught me that I need to find the integrity to bring the inside and outside lives of me together, and I'm trying.
I suceed sometimes, more than I used to, but often the vulnerable me only spills over in moments of anger, fear and shame and not yet in the postiive way I need it to (as posts of the last few days testify). I'll get there one day.
I do need to talk and not just make noise to fill the spaces when I don't know how to say what I actually want to. It is my responsibility to sort it out, but knowing an audience listens helps. For those of you who read these ramblings and from time to time offer your validation, you're helping me to be honest and find that integrity. I am grateful for it. Thank you.
The original is here: http://www.poetrybycharlescfinn.com/pleasehear.html
We all wear masks, because we all live in fear that if people found out who we really were, they couldn't like us, couldn't love us.
ReplyDeleteAnd all those seemingly confident people out there are all insecure.
One of the problems, of course, is that when we wear our masks all the time, we can forget that there is anything beneath the mask. And the fear is if we were to abandon our masks, there would be nothing substantial underneath.
I know I certainly reached that point a few years ago.
But that feeling is a fear, not the truth.
The voice I hear on this blog is one who is very substantial - real, full of hope, love, fears, dreams, sadness, anger, terror, caring and warmth.
The masks can be convenient to move in certain social circles - sometimes it's just easier to pretend to play the game, even if EVERYONE is pretending and hoping no one else notices.
But don't mistake the mask for reality, or feel it is the only thing of substance.
It is OK for you to be you. Glorious, powerful, you :)
Thanks Kim. Wouldn't life be easier (and more fun) if we could gloriously decorate our masks with feathers, glitter, stones we found on beaches, buttons and brass and communicate ourselves to the world that way!
ReplyDeleteAnd, at least, we'd never forget they are merely a disguise....
Now that sounds like fun :)
ReplyDelete