Tuesday, 30 November 2010

Trying very hard to be selfish

The lodger is carting his boxes out into the hall. I've been working at home today, so I can't escape him. I'm really struggling not to go and help. Every bone in my body wants to go and help him, and I know it's not what I want to do. I always rescue birds with broken wings. I find it incredibly difficult to put me, and what I need first, and when I do it seems to come back and bite me.

He has created this situation. I must remind myself that I did not do this. I did not make this happen. He must take responsibility for the consequences of his decision. I must not rescue him, even if it is just to help lift and carry. Or should I help? I don't know.

I am so angry and confused about the whole thing.

Phew! Decision has been made for me. He has help.
I still end up apologising.

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