Thursday, 13 May 2010

Taking chances

I don't want to turn this into a blog which has Dating as its primary subject, but for the moment I need to stick with the whole Bridget Jones thing. It's what's on my mind, and processing it all here is the best outlet I have. So, apologies and thank you for bearing with me!

The Canadian, - calling him my his real name makes it feel very real – is lovely and being smart is hard! David, there, I said it. He is David and he is nice.

He is nice, and cheeky and gentle and insightful, and I am scared and excited.

Trying to take thing one step at a time is so at odds with my last couple of significant relationships, which is, I guess, why they ultimately failed. They were built on shaky foundations. Houses built on sand.

As much as I am trying be brave and not run from this for fear of failure, I'm also scared. All of which is normal I guess. I need to be measured and honest. I'm managing so far and he's respecting that, responding well.

I'm feeling good about it all after another lovely evening. I'm also feeling weird because it's gone beyond a few casual dates, which means now I, we, need to build those foundations and see what happens. It means I need to do this without losing track of me. I need to remember that I will be ok if it doesn't work out, that I have a life and friends and and a career and hope. But, right now I also need to take a risk and believe that I am loveable.


  1. And that you are worth it. When we don't allow ourselves to believe that, then it's too easy to end up sabotaging the relationship without realising it.

    By the way - DG Life printed the press release and the photo and even spelt my name right, mostly... :)

  2. Thanks Kim. I'm trying, but it really doesn't come easily....

    So pleased to hear about DG Life! That's the magazine if I remember....Hope it's all going well,


  3. I think you sound really strong and centered in yourself. I'm betting that no matter how this all eventually goes, you'll be proud of how you handled it.

    He sounds wonderful and I'm so happy for you that it's going well!

  4. Thank you. Every bit of me of struggling to fight my fears and insecurities, and to accept what is, without letting demons of the past overwhelm me. I am mostly winning, and sometimes failing x