Tuesday, 9 June 2009

Paddling faster

That sense of calm is somehow disappearing. It's there, but not in such great strength. I am struggling without time for me in my week, and without time dedicated to focussing on making my life better. I am procrastinating and struggling to write, which in turn leaves me no outlet. I guess I'm scared of facing some stuff head on, on my own and it's freaking me out a bit.

Despite exercise which ususally clears the cobwebs sufficiently, my head seems to be stuffed full of things I don't want to think about, or that aren't good for me. I'd love to have the ability to tackle life one step at a time, instead I rush around doing small bits of everything and then not finishing anything and worrying about it all. Not good. I wish I was one of these delightfully systematic people! Then again, life would certainly be less interesting.

What steps next? How do get myself back to a place where I can breathe?

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