Tuesday, 9 June 2009

Paddling faster

That sense of calm is somehow disappearing. It's there, but not in such great strength. I am struggling without time for me in my week, and without time dedicated to focussing on making my life better. I am procrastinating and struggling to write, which in turn leaves me no outlet. I guess I'm scared of facing some stuff head on, on my own and it's freaking me out a bit.

Despite exercise which ususally clears the cobwebs sufficiently, my head seems to be stuffed full of things I don't want to think about, or that aren't good for me. I'd love to have the ability to tackle life one step at a time, instead I rush around doing small bits of everything and then not finishing anything and worrying about it all. Not good. I wish I was one of these delightfully systematic people! Then again, life would certainly be less interesting.

What steps next? How do get myself back to a place where I can breathe?

Thursday, 4 June 2009

Comfort eating is rubbish!

I don't know if it's even comfort, but today I have consumed everything I shouldn't polished off with a nice glass of wine. I am calmer than i have ever been and still one small chain of thoughts sends me for the fridge. Hopeless! I should alarm it! Maybe I'll just blame PMS, or not enough sleep, or something. It's a strange and frustrating thing.

Tuesday, 2 June 2009


Maybe it's the sunshine, or maybe it's me, but depsite a world of things that need to be done I'm just feeling calm. Something i'm not quite used to....I certainly can't blame it on the yoga as this morning's attempt saw me nearly binning a temperatmental DVD. Instead of getting annoyed, I just thought 'Fine, wehre's one that works...'. Very odd indeed. Not complaining either!