Monday 27 April 2009

Re reading the past continued

Today I found the letters to me from the one man I could have, should have, spent my life with. A kind, generous, funny bear of a man who adored me and I him. Nine years have passed since we parted. I left him. I was too young, or so I thought, at twenty five to settle down. My career was just getting going, I had finally found my feet in the world, was trying to make friends and a new life. Somehow there didn't seem to be enough space for moving in, making a home together, settling down, when I felt my adventure had just begun. I haven't thought of him for a long time and I am surprised by the sadness I now find in me reading his letters, cards, so on. We were in love, and I let that precious gift go. Am I looking back with rose tinted glasses? Perhaps. But it is nice to dream of happy times and old adventures.

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