Monday, 22 April 2013


I have allowed many months to pass without writing a thing here. Maybe I needed a break, maybe I needed not to think too much and just embrace living after a very long dark few years.

I've found myself thinking about this place again over the past few weeks. A long train journey and modern technology bring me back again in a rare moment of peace.

Life has changed so much over the past year. As my train speeds through the countryside that joins Scotland and England I listen to the music of a friend I met four years ago at a little folk festival not so far from here and I read these words of the past.

I could cry, but I don't. I am grateful that I can only remember quite how sad and tired I was. Grateful that this is no longer true.I am lucky. This year has seen me move back full time into the Arts, buy a dog, clear out the family home, embrace life.

It's scares me how low, for how long it was possible to be. I am not that person any more. I am not the person who crys everyday because she is struggling to hold it all together while holding on to the vestiges of her father. I am not the person who is quick to anger, and quick to push anyone away who gets too close.

I am busy, and satisfied, and responsible for a small furry friend if not for anyone else, and live my life surrounded by music and creativity. And - dare I type it? - happy.