It's hard to be positive and look forwards when so many moments that could have been something, and I let become nothing, have passed by. One day I will learn to accept kindess and love. I understand why I don't, mostly, partly.
I don't know how to fix it though
When difficult things happen I find myslf in a mire of old memories and other occasions were I did the wrong thing because I didn't, couldn't believe in myself or let myself trust. I don't trust myself to do the thing that is best for me. I end up in a bog.
I must climb out and find what I need. I just can't always remember what that is. For now I will cling to the glimpses of better.
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